I am about to commit a grave sin against myself by talking about the part of my life I’d rather keep under lock and key. I am not sure how I will feel after this; relief, hurt or guilt but I have an idea of what YOU will do after this — you might learn.
In 2012, I discovered that a piece of advice my father had always given is to keep a good name wherever you go. My sister told me that my father would tell her, ‘I’m a poor man, but my name will make you rich.’ (Well something like that).
This life I’ve been privileged because of my last name — it’s one of the reasons you don’t separate one and call me and I’ll be comfortable with it. My father left the earth sixteen years ago, few hours before my youngest sibling was born. Asides being a lecturer, he had only just started his career as a writer properly. Up until now, my father has fed me and given me free passes on things and linked me to wonderful people. I’ve gotten a job because I bear his name and been treated preferentially because of same. Perhaps it’s because I understand the depth and length a good name can go that is why when this my ‘friend’ watches ‘their’ friend dehumanise my name and say untrue things without defending me but nodded for the other person’s approval. I realised that that friendship wasn’t something I was in need of.
Today, I’d gone to buy bolé with my mum when this sales girl becomes rude and her madam is attracted to the scene. She recognises my mum and turns to the girl, ‘Do you know who this girl’s father was?’ People of the Lord, I ate bolé and tire today.
I cannot over emphasize how important a name is — if you’ve enjoyed the benefits then you’ll know. Sixteen years later I’m enjoying the benefits of bearing the name of a good man. Whenever someone asks if I’m Ibiwari’s daughter, I don’t hesitate to scream YES! because what always follows is a praise — Because of your father I’m this, I did this, did that. While I ate that bolé I thought about the name I could leave my children — if I’m living rightly to make sure my children can build a house on the foundation that is my name.
Someone on here told me two days ago that he had to leave a legacy. Dear someone,
What’s in your name that you could leave behind ?